The journey of labour is only the start to the unexpected, momentous and sometimes rather bonkers journey of motherhood and parenting. So much change is going on physiologically (I mean really, body, is it necessary to make me pee quite often!? And we will not mention the pain!) and mentally. It’s pivotal that you have given yourself the time to figure out the elements of your birthing scene and early months of motherhood that will suit you best. From making sure that your partner is there, to scheduling regular walks up and down the corridor, being prepared can help with your nerves and mood before and after birth. Yet as one mum took to social media to ask for advice, it is still evident that many mothers to be are being pressured to make concessions when it comes to what they’re comfortable with in the labour process.
Isabella Laguna told a social media forum that her husband was insisting on having his parents there to watch the birth of their child. Ms. Laguna spoke of how that was an element of the birth scenario she did not want, especially as she was to be delivering twins, an extremely stressful and worrying time for any woman. She directly asked the forum on advice on how what to do in her situation. Wonderfully, a community of strangers rallied around Ms. Laguna to offer their suggestions. From hilarious responses, to some that were downright indignant that any man could insist on that, the outpouring of suggestions is encouraging. Not only does it highlight the great opportunity mums have to access a wide group of experiences and resources but that many mothers and parents are willingly coming to the aid of a peer.
In any situation where significant change is occurring and stress is present, a crucial healing element is the awareness that you are not alone, that support, whether face to face or over the web, that you are supported.
A responder hilariously wrote, “Tell your husband that before you’ll allow his parents in the room to labor and delivery, he must stand naked and also produce a bowel movement in front of your parents. He must remain naked, spread eagle for at least 12 hours. If he accepts this challenge, allow his parents. “
Others spoke with understandable passion into the situation, “It’s not HIS birth…it’s YOURS! Honey, YOU are the patient, the queen, the STAR OF THE SHOW!!”
A helpful user suggested Ms. Laguna bring in a medical professional to mediate on her behalf. With years of professional trainer under their belt and being an external party, the doctor or nurse would be able to do the talking to diffuse any tension and advocate for her wishes.
Importantly however, it must be noted that women in Australia have the right to dictate who is in the delivery room. Know that you have the right to ask for and have the situation in the delivery room that best suits you. Giving birth is a process filled with many emotions, pain and twists and turns. If you are pregnant, you are the one holding the reins to who is and isn’t there in the delivery room.